I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
