Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
