dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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