Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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