you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
