I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
