How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
