Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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