between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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