she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
