I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
