I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
