a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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