it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
