i just had sex bonerless
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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