You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Less talking, more tequila
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
