Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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