I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
