no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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