Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
