I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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