RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
