I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
