I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
