We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
