My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
