In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
he just fucked me for my cheese..
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
