is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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