My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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