So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
