need another drink. this is the easiest way
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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