I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
