Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
