i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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