Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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