Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
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