ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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