We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
