What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
