I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize