she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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