Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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