Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
