so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
