Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
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