I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
