someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
