Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Randomize
