i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
