i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in