are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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