Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
