Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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