I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
