Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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