I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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