it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Rumble strips road head = magical
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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