my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Too much gin, very little bucket
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
