He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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