i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
