ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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