If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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