I want to make a zoo with you.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i think my mom watched the whole time
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You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
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The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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