guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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